My Name

Payton Anderson is a junior who is passionate about poetry. She is most interested in writing poems that evoke emotion or share some part of her story that she believes will benefit the world around her. Her favorite poets are Rupi Kaur and Amanda Gorman.

My Name

You’d call me by my name,

your words kind with the touch of each letter. 

It felt natural, 

the way they escaped from your imperfect lips. 

Everything was easy. 

The way you breathed,

tandem to the movement of my cracked chest. 

The way you thought, 

each one a mirror of what I could never say. 

The way you touched, 

hands callused with strength to protect my fragility.  

The way you loved, 

with a passion full of fire 

to match the diluted river in which I struggled to swim. 

Until one day, 

I was no longer enough to satisfy your insatiable hunger, 

for more.

I stood, 

frozen by my own self-doubt.   

I watched, 

as your lips parted to produce an unnatural sound.

I cried, 

eyes wet with the memory of a future that was only ever a dream. 

It punctured my ears, 

curdled my stomach, 

and broke my heart. 

The way you’d call her by her name.

Nothing was ever easy after that. 

I was forced back into the water, 

drowning, 

grasping for your existence, 

your presence.  

I was never to speak again, 

because the hand that once kept me above the surface 

had pushed me back down 

for good.